Just Letting It Out

I know that this is totally out of the blue but I really really had to let it out. I don't know why but I feel that as we go on in our lives I get this feeling that instead of being better friends, you seem to treat me like you don't know me at all. And though it's hard to admit but I'm starting to think that if the signs you have showed to me in the first place was just something that you thought was fun and that it would be okay to do it. For the record, I am feeling really really ***king upset right now and somehow I just have to express it this way. I have been so called 'cheated' twice in a row, and although I am no professional, all I can say is that if you have never had any feelings towards the other, then don't show it at all because the other person on the other side only knows too well how it feels like to be 'cheated' that way. It really really hurts and maybe to some it id nothing at all but to me it really makes me wonder what were you're motives in the first place. If you don't get it, screw it.

And she said...

A bird came over to me today and said: "I don't know if I made the right decision today, but I'll tell you what I did. I had to make a choice, a choice which really isn't right, but isn't wrong either. I have a crush on this guy, for a very long time now, and he was (or at least to me, at that time) the sweetest guy I have known, or maybe he was just that way, it was in his nature. Anyway, he treated me very nice, caring and most importantly he made me feel like I was loved, leaving me with all those sweet memories when we were together. However, at times when he had his friends, he wouldn't bother about me, and times when he had none, he'd stick to me like I was his life support, so tell me, what was I suppose to do but to fall for him? He really really made me feel special. It felt like it was a short time, but believe me when I say that it has been 5 years now that I have had him on my mind for so long. During this time, he found himself a girlfriend, and yet I STILL had a hard time forgetting him. I know that it is sort of a mistake, but I can tell you one thing, and it is that to me, I took it as a lesson learnt, a lesson on love.

Then towards the end of that 5 years, I found another, so much more of a gentleman than the first ever was, and this guy, he really really changed me. I finally let go of the other one, and totally not regretting it because let's face it, he picked somebody else over me,I was his second choice(if he ever decides he suddenly likes me) and in that 5 years he had his chance to do something about my love for him but did he do it? Instead he showed me signals, giving me mixed feelings and in the end only to tell me that he couldn't do anything.
And so I really don't know if I did the right thing but deep down I know that this was the choice I made and even if history repeats itself for the second time, all I can say is that I am really glad I took the 2nd option and if my heart gets broken the second time, I have yet learnt another lesson, but if it does work out then all I can say is that I will really appreciate and treasure the one who made me feel special and loves me for who I am and in return I'll give him the same love he has given me."

What the 'bird' told me today was something really touching and true. And even if 'she' accepted the 1st one (if he finally realises he loves her), I wouldn't blame her because I fully understand that she would still have feelings for him. Bear in mind though, that you were his second choice, would he then love you as much as he loved the first? Think about that.....