There Are These Moments : lantern

Remember that time when we had a small gathering that ended in a big one? Yes it was the moment when we had our small lantern festival gathering and I can still remember me feeling so upset that we had so little things to talk about. But now that I thought about it, I can't really blame you as you were more comfortable in your own language zone, and it would only seem right for you to talk to someone that can relate. Not that I couldn't, it just took me a little more time than necessary. And then though, I remember the part where you actually stole the lanterns of the bus stop, because over there, things were much pricier and because we had such a small selection, you decided to "steal". Haha! But overall, a good day. I remember though that you and your friends decided to get a drink at the cafe, and because Sanyz didn't want to, we just stayed behind me taking pictures and you with them. I was upset, because she never wanted to hang around with more people and more friends when it was so much easier for her than it is for me. Anyhow, I remembered you asking us to join you but we dragged, and in the end the cafe closed and so you came back( which Sanyz predicted, saying that he would while I thought that you wouldn't) . A few weeks later, I remember you telling me abt that day when you brought along the cake that I got for you, and you seriously tried to keep some for us, but you didn't manage to because your friend decided to split among you guys only. Was a little touched that you even had the heart to think about me at times like these.

There Are These Moments : umbrella

I still remember that day, every time I think about the umbrella and the words that you said to me rings such a melody I sometimes can't even explain it. We shared an umbrella because we had to get to the car, and being guys, you and Dido did not have umbrellas while us three girls had. Then as everybody took out their umbrellas, I still remember you said to me that you shall share with me, as it seems that mine was the biggest umbrella. (Although when I compared it the last time, it didn't feel as if it was any different than the others) Could it then be, that you we're flirting? Hmmm... But then again, can't say I didn't enjoy it. We were so raw at the beginning stage of our friendship that I when I think back on it, it ceases to amaze me that we have grown so much stronger than we have ever been and I am thoroughly grateful for it!

There Are These Moments : yeah, i got u

The first few words that we exchanged and that got me thinking if things could happen and it could by all means be true. It is also a first for me, to have someone say that to me and even more that we weren't even that close yet! Although, it also got me thinking if you did mean it because, I don't know how it works but maybe that's the way guys roll? Or maybe it's just a way for people to get to know more people since we were starting the new chapter in our life and that's the way to get to know more people. Maybe you were playing around, maybe you genuinely wanted to be friends, maybe just maybe there is more truth to that than you are letting me know.

i dreamt of you

This morning, I dreamt of you. Funny how you commented last night, and then you liked it agn, which is always a surprise because I sometimes feel that you never do for your other friends. Which led me to this dream I guess. As usual I can't remember the details, but I do remember you telling me how you felt, but others didn't know and so we kept it secret. During one of our outings, I had my pretty friend with me and you didn't really bother, you just came to me and stood so close to me its as if we were a couple so in love, but we didn't want to be so public. And boy I remember you looking hot..like real hot! But I couldn't show admiration, fear of others knowing. haha! I can remember that you and I wanted to spend time together, just be with each other and you wanted to getaway but I was afraid of the permission not granted, and well you just said what if we promise getting separate rooms and I remembered feeling deeply inside that I didn't want to because I just wanted to be with you and know how it feels to be cuddled next to you during the night. I knew it but I was so afraid to say it, for fear you thought me a crazy bitch but in fact, I really do love you, always have always will. Will this be real someday?

Unofficial Second?

Well, nothing says it best like the title that seems to explain all.

It all started today when you said you were going to be late, and after much thought, it was better that you didn't come, after all, what good does that do for you to come to something that held no meaning, when we did not bother listening as well. And besides, if you came, it was the only thing that you were coming for which not only wastes your time, but rather a well, oh, you get it don't you? Then you sprung on me an impromptu message, one where I was more than delighted to obliged. After all, this was one of the few things that sparks and helps bond us closer together isn't it? But to state the obvious, I could not make it too apparent, and therefore had to pretend that it was weird that you suggest the two of us. So what you said was that we would call others, and the only one you actually bothered to ask in the end was my best friend. In the end, it can be said that you did it actually did not bother you that we were the only two going out, when in fact it was a problem for you the last time when you wanted to go out with another. It feels special that you and I have this unspoken agreement that we happen to love each other's company. Or maybe that's just what I think. In the end, it was a very exciting impromptu, that included me in your plan and nobody else. And this really is a rarity because if it were last time, we always had company when I wanted you only. Nevertheless, today was a great day, we talked much, walked much, laughed much. And all these done together made us that much closer in so many ways which we may have not done in a very long time. There wasn't much uncomfortable silence, even if there were silences they were short and comfortable. I can remember that I did lots of laughing, and the pure happiness shines in my eyes, or that's how it felt. And the thing that you were actually trying to see my life from my point when you wanted to borrow and read the type of books that I was interested in, the same way I get when I am interested in your language, as well as the songs that you listen too. And then there was the time when we talked and it was so cute. As well as when you bumped into me, on purpose, I don't know, but all I know was the numerous time had me feeling tingly that I knew I had to stop, otherwise I wouldn't know what I would have done. Though I really wished I could grab you and finally feel what it was like to have a little bit of you, be with a little bit of me. I can tell you that I liked it, but I had to stop it, because I felt a little clumsy with the way we walked and felt like I was an intrusion to you. But I can tell you on my side, there was much electricity and heat that I felt whenever we hit contact. I was really me, I think I scared you when I laughed so much, or the way I talked when I was trying to be in denial, or when I smile at you and had lots and lots and lots of expressions on my face, but all I can say was that I didn't hide much of myself, and I gave you me. I wished that something more had happened, but even though it didn't it can be considered a blessing already as you had me go out with you, alone, all of a sudden and that you were also you as well. No hidden identity, no camera shy moments, just you and sincerity. In the cinema, I swear that it really felt that you were comfortable with me and the spot that we touched, it definitely was warm and electrified. I say that I'm happy we grew in so many ways, in terms of digging into the past as well when we just sat there and talked. It is also these things that make it more special. Because it is these moments that can bring us closer and closer. It's like the beginning of something more yet to come. We talked about so many things that I know in so many ways means more to me than it may sound to anybody else, and it is these that unites us into one. All in all, a happy and memorable day for me, though I can't say the same for you. And I can definitely say that we are much more closer than before in so many ways, it's even hard for me to explain.

There Are These Moments : 周杰伦

I never really liked him before. And it was you that made me learn to love his songs. And on such emo days as today, I'm listening to his songs and I can't help thinking about you and how because you loved him, I made it an effort to listen to his songs. And I am glad I did, because his songs are really beautiful. Sad as well. Works well for how it feels right now. I know that I have happy things that you may have done to me that should be good enough, but it really upsets me that I couldn't be there, wasn't the one, bu neng pei ni. I know you would never understand how it feels, its also really a first for me. I can't believe for the first time I can't really sleep because of this. I'm usually upset and everything but I know that it would soon be solve. I know that this thing too will pass, it's just that when I think back I feel like why, why did it happen. You know there are so many things that I have done to help make us closer, and go ahead you can call me a noob because I really am new at this, I have never done this before, and maybe never felt this way so strongly before, so everything is new to me, even jealousy. It's as if its much stronger and much more meaningful now. I know I shouldn't get wrapped up in it all but I just can't help feeling that way, and the tears, wow, they roll. And because of that, I'm starting to feel sleepy. Hopefully I can fall asleep now. Maybe tomorrow would be a better day and things will not be so dramatic as it apparently was. I can wish that it didn't happen, but I know deep down it did, all I can hope is just that someday ni ke yi zai wo shen bian.

There Are These Moments : Unofficial First

So the unofficial first, as declared by my besties, happened to be the day before I was suppose to fly back for break. And as the title suggests, it really was an unofficial thing. I did not plan it at all. All I wanted to do was go and exchange some items before it expires and I had to do so before I left and as we were suppose to meet up the, with a suggestion from my bestie a night before, I asked you to accompany me to the mall and surprisingly you agreed. Time wasn't always for me, you kept it most of the time for your friends and I was in fact surprised that you were even free as expected you to go out with you friends. But it wasn't to say that I was not glad to be able to spend some time with you before we part for a whole month! 2 weeks were tough, you can't even imagine a month! Not that we were official or anything, and I know that it was wholly one sided( or that's what I think, it is yet to be confirmed) but it really was a great pain especially after spending so much time together I felt like I have known you a great deal greater. Come to think of it, when I think back to the day when I first saw you I really did not expect that we come to what we are this day, it really surprised me and gave me hope that life is in fact really full of surprises and never underestimate it as you may wake up one day and find that the least expected thing could very well be happening to you as it has happened to me. I know that this kind of opportunity does not happen very often, to be truthful, in fact it has never happen to me before so everything that we are experiencing is a first and maybe that is what makes it all so much more special. Then the day started with us in the piano room, and that moment to me was very special indeed, in fact the whole day was, but to highlight some parts, I can truly say that spending time with you in there was special especially when people kept looking in and the frustrated you was saying that they have never seen such a handsome and beautiful girl before. Personally I do not buy that you meant that, no offense but I don' t think that anybody especially you have thought of me that way. So in all fairness I think you only said that because it seemed the fairest thing to say. It may be true, that you meant it, but just incase, I would think of it as not true, but I still am happy that you could even think of saying such a thing, so to be fair to you, I'm glad you did it. The whole day was like a dream, it was as if I was just floating through it, you being you and me just being me, the real me, not the pretend me or the me that I have to hold up when I am around some other people, being slightly transparent so that people can connect to me and yet not entirely transparent to ensure that people do not know too much things about me. But around you it didn't feel like I needed to keep that composure, maybe in the beginning I did, but the more I got to know you, the more I let down my guard and I became who I was, like what I liked and just be able to spend some quality time with you. I know you may not know it now, but in time I hope that you can understand what I'm trying to say and what I may mean. At the beginning I thought that the day was only going to be a half day thing where we would have our lunch and head back. It was exciting to me, the thought of being able to go to the cinema with you but I did not voice that opinion. However, it seemed to me that you had the same idea too, so we decided to check out the screenings. First time we went, and it seemed that my hopes were dashed. But I comforted myself quickly with the thought that this day has been great with what little time spent, and at least we were together. We had lunch and I was talking non stop like as if we were the best of friends. I was really afraid that I was too fast for you, making you confuse but when I think again, it felt like as long as I was there, it was great. That was what I thought, not that I can read into your mind can I? So we really got to know each other, a little about our histories and such and you suggested once more to check out the movies, I didn't mind (of course that meant more time spent together didn't it?) and before I know it we were sitting next to each other in an action movie that I personally felt was not bad, though I must say I am very open minded so I really didn't mind watching these kind of movies which was great because it tells you that I am not your typical girl. The greatest part was that it seemed that both of us secretly agreed that we do not want to go back so early and that we wanted to spend as much time as we can, which in the end was the whole day. My supposedly half day spent with you was now prolonged and that was all there is, need I say more? My initial thought was that we would spend some time together but not much, I didn't expect the day to go on so well that we were spending so much time, just the two of us. Many things happened, and one of it was when you kept picking up frog items which I find cute, so I asked you why you do it and you said that the colour was nice. This coming from you, the person I liked, and as I myself sometimes like frogs because of its colour, it was an honour to hear you feel the same way too. Basically the only reason why I like them is their colour, is it the same for you? Coincidence much? After the movie, we went shopping before dinner as we were not hungry yet, and to my surprise I was very much treated like someone special where you kept asking me to help you choose and to see if it was okay. Like my opinion mattered, and in the end most of your choices were also thanks to me, was it on purpose as you knew I would like it? Or do you sincerely like it too? I guess I will never know. But I was glad, and was happy as it made me feel like someone special to be able to go shopping with you and to make decisions together as if it were perfectly normal for us to do so. Dinner time and it was quite upsetting for me because I knew that it was coming to an end, so maybe I was a little out of place and unsorted. Later on we met some friends, one you were close to and the other was sort of close to me, so we started talking and my friend which you also knew started chattering away as he usually does and out of the corner of my eye, maybe it did not happen but it felt like it did, and you we're sort of keeping an eye on us as you were talking. I kind of regretted talking so much to my friend, made me feel like I was abandoning you or something, my deepest apology, but at the same time it sort of gave me a chance to slightly peek into what you were thinking. I was quite upset when you did not sit beside me and instead sat with your friend, but I did not want to add oil to the fire by being close to my friend so I kept my distance, but I was glad when you decided to change places and in the end sat nearby where we could still be in each other's presence. I tried not to talk too much, tried not to smile too much, tried not to give the biggest reactions so as to not make you feel that I treated everyone the same, in fact I only saved my sincerest expressions for someone as special as you. Maybe someday you will know, but I know that you wouldn't now. A funny thing happened when much later and we were talking about some things when you brought up the topic on whether I was close to that friend of mine and I just denied by saying that he was a very much a talker and you can't really expect me to not respond right? It was not ethically right if I jus ignored him, and he is one heck of a talker, sometimes I feel like I can't breathe. So it was rather a surprise that you were in some sort of way affected by him and that maybe just maybe you were a little jealous of him? Were you? The night ended far quicker than expected, I wished I could start the day again to preserve the memory that we had, but as we all know, all good things have to come to an end as well. Besides, there will be new memories for us to create and more good things to look forward to isn't it? Needless to say I was very affected that night, happy, ecstatic and at the same time in sorrow, not willing to let go, whether of you or the night or just the happiness of it all, or maybe its just a combination of it all. A little insight to the last detail of the night, I remembered you that you brought up the event when we first knew each other and you did not notice my other friends being there, and the other important addition, when you switched your occupied hand to the other, leaving the one closest to me unoccupied and I thought that something may have happened and although it did not, it made me feel as if that there could have been. Maybe you just needed more time to think and that you needed to straighten out your very messed up head before jumping head first into something that you too are not very sure off. So that is in fact the unofficial first which has been simplified to important areas, I know to some it is a pain to read such a long article, however a big bravo to those that came to the end. Before I receive curses, I might as well end now.

There Are These Moments : 7 minutes and a smiley.

So the important 7 minutes of my life, or to be exact, 6 minutes and 59 seconds was spent talking with you on the phone. It really made me feel special that day. Although 7 minutes is somewhat little as compared to the other times where you may have talked more to your friends that you are comfortable with, these 7 minutes meant a lot to me. It is the first time we talked so much especially since a call because most of the time we just message and even then you were always brief, and although it was purely things that have to do with classes and stuff, I felt proud that you felt comfortable enough with me to talk about the bad day that you had and how much you disliked it. It made me feel proud that you would think of me as someone you wouldn't mind sharing your day with and that really made me feel special. Later on you called a few more times, each something to do with work and stuff, not much personal matters but still a few, as it would be hard to escape some. There was even once where you actually wanted me to accompany you the whole day as you were afraid it would be tiring and since it was my fault you wanted me to be 'tortured' by following you especially as I was not as busy as you are. But I knew you were just teasing me and that you didn't mean it, but it made me think that I was important enough to you and that I may mean something if you wanted to spend the whole day with me with instructions to chat with you as well. Then there were the excessive messages that we ping pong-ed back and forth with a little bit of personal matters about our day and our experiences and when you finally ended it, I was a little disappointed but glas at the same time that we have talked so much and that you were clearly interested in getting us together which I though would not have happened at all as you were not that interested at the beginning. But when you were so frustrated about the timetable and stuff I sort of thought that maybe after all you wanted to, and that it was very hard for you to please so many at once. In the end I thought that we were not fated to be together but I was proven wrong when you at last changed and we are would now see much much more of each other. I messaged, you replied, but it didn't stop there, you continued to chat, it was like I was the comfort to your sleepless night, warm and stuffy. It felt great being able to be the one to keep you company, even if it meant talking about boring stuff related solely towards the academic segment of our lives. And when I thought it all ended with me saying goodnight, as it usually does, you surprised me when you replied a half an hour later saying goodnight with a smiley, which you never do (believe me, I checked) and I was really taken aback. So off to bed I went, with a smile on my face, thinking that you must have felt happy too at that time and I was glad that it was me. It may not be, but then again, is it wrong for me to think so?