Change For The Better....

Things have changed. I thought that I have moved on for the better. I was excited at first, thinking that this time, things would be different, you would be a change, a change for the better.I was so happy, practically glowing with joy, eyes twinkling like diamonds, if only I could have captured that moment, that moment when I was so happy, because now with all the pain, I think I've kind of forgotten what it was like to be in love. Little did I know that what I thought would be, did not turn out the way it should have been, and this really has upset me, I was not only dissapointed, I was hurt. Everything seemed to be fine at first, then all of a sudden your actions were as if your thoughts were not yours, that you seem to have somebody else telling what you should do and what you should be. I'm not saying that whatever you have chosen is wrong but what I'm trying to tell you is that this not being you thing has affected me greatly, even if I try to pretend it is not. One minute you seem to care and the next it's like I disgust you so. Maybe things wouldn't have been that bad if you told me in the first place that you and I, we're just friends. In fact you told me otherwise, you made me think that it was okay, the 'me liking you thing'. If only I didn't do what I did before,then at least I'd have a friend now that I'm proud for. But then again, it's no use thinking what has been done, for it is the past and that I should move on. So how come I've got a feeling that the way things are right now, isn't what you wished and want it to be, somehow you and I we seem to want more. Or maybe it's just me trying to be optimistic and reading you the wrong way. What say you? I'd like to know the truth, right about now.