Why do you want to know me?

The distance has been killing me. I don't know if this is something good or bad, but what I do know is that even when I was there, although I can't be with you always, the thought of being quite close to you keeps me sane. Now that we're an ocean a part, it drives me crazy. I miss you so very much, at the same time I can't keep you out of my mind. I think of you all the time, sometimes positive when I tell myself that a lot of things that you have done is pointing to the positive end, while at times I start going mad when I tell myself that the possibility to that is nil, that it's just a game, something with no possibilities. Yes, I know that I have to radiate positive energy to encourage this, but I can't help it at times when I find that I'm just being used, you don't care about me no more, and everything that you have done before is nothing but just a thing you think should be fun to play with. Let me tell you it's no fun at all. I miss you like crazy, but I can't tell you because I'm so afraid of the outcome. I want to ask you, 'Why was it that you wanted to be friends with me?' because I'm curious to know why someone like you would want to get to know someone like me. Deep down, though I try to tell myself its not true, I can't help but wonder if you getting to know me is the key for you to get something that you want, though I can't think at all what that reason may be. But if in fact, you really do, I wish you would tell me soon enough. Because the things that I have played again and again in my head is absolutely driving me crazy! Then when I think back to all those times that you were so sweet to me, getting to know me, taking care of me, that's when I realize that this can all only boil down to one thing and that is you really really, from the bottom of your heart, want to get to know me. For the first time in my life, someone wants to get to know me. Most of the time it'd be like how your friends are with me, they only talk to me because you are friends with me. That's how I usually end up being friends with a guy so it was a total shock when you wanted to get to know me, actually taking time to talk to me and to get to know me better. Is this true? Or was this all just a lie, something that I read too much into?