Someone advised me to start as friends, take your time, don't rush, I know that I should, and I am doing that right? But whatever it is I try to tell myself many many times that that should be the way, I still can't help feeling that the gap and distance gets wider everyday and me and you just don't belong.
In the beginning, it seems like this can't go wrong, I did doubt you, but my speculations were cleared and I really thought that this was right. Memories of you still cloud my mind everyday, and I'm still in disbelief with the fact that so many things seem to point to the fact that maybe in the end there is a chance. Take a week ago, when what I thought was a joke, turned out to be real and you took your time to ensure that I was with you, to guide me and to take care of me when I was lost in the presence of others that I do not know with the fact that you actually made sure I was with you by even asking one to move where both of us could then be together. If as friends, I doubt that you'd do that, taking care of me, ensuring I was okay, you could have just dump me with your friends, without a care what would happen to me, and not bother at all where I was, doing what. We even shared something when it is clear that you could have shared it with others, but you still chose me. Every night, you were the one that started it, to find me. You said so many sweet things, made it clear to me that you could sing, but you couldn't if I was looking at you. If we were friends, then singing in front of me would not be a problem, but if it were more than that, then it'd be hard because it would be shy to sing in front of someone you liked. Its as if you're trying to say to me, would you fall for me the way you fell for that star? Told me you wanted to be in the same place when we die, told me about your family, asked of mine, told me about your past, something I'm sure you're not proud of announcing it to the world, asked when I was cold and gave me something warm, made me feel comfortable with you, like everything we say will just be between us, so many things that I treasure and for the first time in my life, feel special. Feel as if that this can happen to me too. Am I being surreal? Or can finally something this special happen to me too? Someone told me that when you speak to me, your tone is different and that it was only for me, and when I thought back, it seemed true. The way you smiled at me and when I smiled back, it was as if we had an unspoken secret between us. I'd like to think that this is just the beginning of something very special. Maybe just maybe, you're playing the game with me, seeing if I feel the same way for you, the way you feel for me.
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