while my head is telling me to let him go, my heart says otherwise...

Sometimes I find myself put in a position I know I shouldn't be in. I miss you at times but I know it is wrong to feel it. I miss being close to you, I miss the times when a little touch can send a thousand volts coursing through my veins and those times when you'd look at me and made sure you memorised each detail so that tonight it'd be easier for you to dream. And yet it gets me wondering if I should still like you even now. Maybe we belong together but that can only happen in the future, not now. But no matter how my thoughts have cruised to the near possibility of that, I still can't imagine being with you for all you have done was to dissapoint me while I tried in the least to make you happy. For so many years I have been there for you but you never ever saw that. And if you did like me for that matter it would then dawn on you that this is not the way you should be returning my love. Some days you treat me like a stranger and others like the bestest of friends. What was or is your motive all along? Maybe you should let me know, then at least this cloud of confusion over my head can be somewhat cleared up. For too long I gave you so many chances. Some said it was a waste of time, I should not have allowed myself to be fooled by you and believe me I'm starting to believe it myself. And try as I might to forget you, I have to admit that I miss a little of your loving even if I know that it is wrong. But know that out in the open, I'd say I am over you, but in my heart, I'd say a tiny piece is still with you and in this piece holds those happy memories that you gave to me. Nothing more, nothing less. Part of me still longs to be with you but the greater side says that you're not worth it,that after all you've put me through the least I can do is to hate you. Then comes the bigger question, can I do it?